1) Name the Last Four Things You Have Bought:
a new 8MM projector from eBay last night, THE INCREDIBLES dvd, dog food, and bottled water
2) Name Four Drinks You Regularly Drink:
water, tea, coffee, Miller Light
3) Last Time You Cried?:
a couple of weeks ago while sitting on my front porch and calling it quits with the recent man of my blogs; but I also welled up again last night hearing about a friend's struggle with post-partum depression... it took me back to my own
4) What's In Your CD Player:
one of Bill's mix cds
5) What's Under Your Bed?:
gigantic roll-out tupperware bins filled with shit I haven't bothered to look at in years... and monsters
6) What Time Did You Wake Up Today?
8:00 AM, then again at 8:00 PM after a much needed nap
7) Current Hair?:
I'm assuming this isn't a dirty question... so, uh, reddish-brown, medium long, and curly... just like a poodle's ass.
8) Current Clothes?:
who said I'm wearing any?
9) Current Desktop Picture?:
none; just realistic-looking fish swimming around
10) Current Worry?
lethargy, thesis, and bills... oh my!
11) Current Hate?
"our" current Administration, Atlanta's fucking rush-hour that lasts all damn day long!, and the fact that I'm wasting the peak sexual years of my life left to my own "devices"
12) Favorite Place To Be?:
empty movie theater in the middle of a weekday afternoon; or, inside my head, where music and unicorns play 24/7
13) Least Favorite Place?:
alone in a packed movie theater on a date night; or, alone in bed
14) If You Could Play An Instrument?:
having already mastered the skin flute, I'll say the accordion sitting in my bedroom and gathering dust would be a good start
16) How Tall Are You?:
5'11" ... 5'5" without the afro
17) Favorite quote:
"Probably the worst thing about having King Kong go rampid in your town would be the huge, monster genitalia." --Jack Handey
18) One Person From Your Past You Wish You Could Go Back And Talk To:
there are so many people I've lost track of and wish I could find (and believe me, I've tried)... I guess I'd have to say Roberta Ross, who was my first best friend... where are you Berta?
19) Favorite Day?:
Arbor Day (trees need love too)
20) Where Would You Like To Go?:
since I've already been to Hell and back, I'll say Denver to see my friend's new baby, Korea to see another friend, and DC to visit yet another
21) Where do you want to live when you get married?:
happily ever after... I don't care where
22) Favorite food?:
sushi... hell, just give me some seaweed wraps and I'll roll just about anything up in them and eat it (I said "just about anything")
23) Color of most clothes you own?:
mostly black; also dark purple, dark red, and brown
25) What do you wear when you go to sleep?:
kids home: whatever I pass out in, sometimes I manage to get my pants off; kids away: depends on whether or not someone else manages to get my pants off!
26) What were you doing 12AM last night?
ending an IM conversation with someone intruiguing
27) How old will you be in 10 yrs:
308 in dog years
28) What do you think you'll be doing in 10 years?:
still working in film/television, traveling a lot in my free time
29) Do you have braces?:
not in the last 20 years, no
30) Are you paranoid?:
only the paranoid survive
31) Do you burn or tan?:
I rarely ever go in the sun anymore, but when I do, I have the ability to tan so darkly that other ethnicities mistake me for one of them
32) What is the brand of your wallet?:
who buys branded wallets? my "brand" is called "free" as in it's the free one that came with some purse I once bought, which itself was only slightly more expensive than "free"
33) First piercing/tattoo?:
Ears, age 7... when I grow up, I'll get a tattoo
34) First enemy?:
I don't try to make any enemies, but they do seem to find me from time to time... I think the first one was a girl named Marsha who told everyone in my neighborhood some viciously stupid stuff about me when I was 7 or 8... I told my mom, she got mad and called Marsha's mom, Marsha's mom marched Marsha's freshly tanned little butt over to my house to give me an apology... we were friends again a couple months later... girls can be so stupid and cruel to one another.
35) Last person you yelled at?:
probably one of the kids just to be heard over their constant din
36) Last crush?:
it's been a while since I've had any crushes... other than that constant fantasy that I'll one day end up in the middle of a Viggo Mortensen/Vince Vaughn sandwich
37) Last thing you ate?
some ham and carrots (boring, I know). come to think of it, I'm pretty hungry again.
It can and did happen! Tell-all blog about dating ... well, tell-most ... tell-some ... regardless, it's TMI.
Tuesday, March 15, 2005
Sunday, March 13, 2005
Thots on Bots
So yeah, I went to see ROBOTS on its opening Friday night, rather than go out drinking with friends. What can I say? I'm just THAT secure with my hipness, dude.
The film itself was cute, well made, and yet empty. It stole from every movie possible, but in a quaint "homage" sort of way. Unfortunately, that was the only thing that made the movie worth seeing, because the story wasn't there. I would just like to take a moment and admit that my absolute favorite part of the whole thing was the fart scene... but then, I'm a big softy for fart sounds, what can I say. It brought a tear or two to my eye... after I laughed harder than I ever expected.
But as any of you know, I don't review movies. I review movie-going experiences. It's a small niche market that I'm trying to cover myself, whether any of you give a shit or not.
I went to the theater that night not alone, as my other blogs have depicted me, but with my younger two children. If anyone was wondering, their reviews were, "It had funny parts;" "I'd watch it again, I guess;" "Can we go now? I gotta pee;" and "The big thing in the lobby for HITCHIKER'S GUIDE was cooler than this movie... can we go stand and look at it for a while?" And we did.
One extremely rotund nerd decided to sit directly behind us. I love the seats at the local AMC, because the backs are so high that you can't see the people behind or in front of you. But I learned that this particular specimen was behind us because the gravitational forces began to alter and when I spilled some candy, the pieces immediately joined the other satellites he had circling his girth.
I'm sorry. That's just petty and snarky.
How about some more? Okay!
He was extremely excited to be at this particular film. He chatted animatedly to all that sat near him, even though he came completely alone. I soon found out why.
Of course, this ROBOTS movie had the trailer for the new STAR WARS movie, which meant that it attracted full-on, hardcore nerds to fill the seats... like the one sitting behind us. He "oohed" and "ahed" the whole way through, and when it was over, I think he may have wet himself. He also gave this odd high-pitched laugh, though the trailer was not funny, that sounded like, "nyuk nyuk mmmmnyuk nuh uh.... uh."
During the 'Bots flick, the laughter from this huge guy increased to such a frenzied pace that it sounded like a squeaky sounding, conjuring images in my head of Flipper mating with Chip 'n Dale. He stopped laughing about halfway through the movie. I wondered if anyone checked him for a pulse... I later heard him snore, so I guess he was okay.
The fun part of the night was watching the exodus of nerds BEFORE the movie started. I'm talking about the variety who pay to see a movie only to catch the new trailer, in this case... STAR WARS. My 9-year-old son heckled them as they snuck out. I quietly reprimaned him with, "Your older brother will be just like those nerds some day. Learn some tolerance, my man."
I'm such a good parent... nuture them when they're present; make fun of them when they're away. Jeez.
There's really no point to this "movie review" entry, which makes it truly perfect for the movie itself. It was the cinematic equivalent of a twinkie, and on that note, I'm going to scavenge for snacks.
Wait, wait, wait... did I just hear there's a new Monty Python movie coming out?
Damn, there goes my nerd-dissing credibility. I guess here is where I should admit that I sat through that intolerable OC show on Fox Thursday night just to catch the STAR WARS trailer for the first time before it hit the theaters... sitting there, hanging on every fucking commercial... waiting for a mere glimpse or hint that Lucas may have NOT screwed up this last ever episode... hoping to see some more baaadaaasss Yoda butt-kicking action... wishing I could have worked on any of the films, regardless of their aaactual badness.
I need a 12-step program.
The film itself was cute, well made, and yet empty. It stole from every movie possible, but in a quaint "homage" sort of way. Unfortunately, that was the only thing that made the movie worth seeing, because the story wasn't there. I would just like to take a moment and admit that my absolute favorite part of the whole thing was the fart scene... but then, I'm a big softy for fart sounds, what can I say. It brought a tear or two to my eye... after I laughed harder than I ever expected.
But as any of you know, I don't review movies. I review movie-going experiences. It's a small niche market that I'm trying to cover myself, whether any of you give a shit or not.
I went to the theater that night not alone, as my other blogs have depicted me, but with my younger two children. If anyone was wondering, their reviews were, "It had funny parts;" "I'd watch it again, I guess;" "Can we go now? I gotta pee;" and "The big thing in the lobby for HITCHIKER'S GUIDE was cooler than this movie... can we go stand and look at it for a while?" And we did.
One extremely rotund nerd decided to sit directly behind us. I love the seats at the local AMC, because the backs are so high that you can't see the people behind or in front of you. But I learned that this particular specimen was behind us because the gravitational forces began to alter and when I spilled some candy, the pieces immediately joined the other satellites he had circling his girth.
I'm sorry. That's just petty and snarky.
How about some more? Okay!
He was extremely excited to be at this particular film. He chatted animatedly to all that sat near him, even though he came completely alone. I soon found out why.
Of course, this ROBOTS movie had the trailer for the new STAR WARS movie, which meant that it attracted full-on, hardcore nerds to fill the seats... like the one sitting behind us. He "oohed" and "ahed" the whole way through, and when it was over, I think he may have wet himself. He also gave this odd high-pitched laugh, though the trailer was not funny, that sounded like, "nyuk nyuk mmmmnyuk nuh uh.... uh."
During the 'Bots flick, the laughter from this huge guy increased to such a frenzied pace that it sounded like a squeaky sounding, conjuring images in my head of Flipper mating with Chip 'n Dale. He stopped laughing about halfway through the movie. I wondered if anyone checked him for a pulse... I later heard him snore, so I guess he was okay.
The fun part of the night was watching the exodus of nerds BEFORE the movie started. I'm talking about the variety who pay to see a movie only to catch the new trailer, in this case... STAR WARS. My 9-year-old son heckled them as they snuck out. I quietly reprimaned him with, "Your older brother will be just like those nerds some day. Learn some tolerance, my man."
I'm such a good parent... nuture them when they're present; make fun of them when they're away. Jeez.
There's really no point to this "movie review" entry, which makes it truly perfect for the movie itself. It was the cinematic equivalent of a twinkie, and on that note, I'm going to scavenge for snacks.
Wait, wait, wait... did I just hear there's a new Monty Python movie coming out?
Damn, there goes my nerd-dissing credibility. I guess here is where I should admit that I sat through that intolerable OC show on Fox Thursday night just to catch the STAR WARS trailer for the first time before it hit the theaters... sitting there, hanging on every fucking commercial... waiting for a mere glimpse or hint that Lucas may have NOT screwed up this last ever episode... hoping to see some more baaadaaasss Yoda butt-kicking action... wishing I could have worked on any of the films, regardless of their aaactual badness.
I need a 12-step program.
Monday, March 07, 2005
I Can't Make This Sh*t Up
So last night, I go out with Bill to his favorite dive bar. Aside from getting some of the best/worst pick-up lines ever from one of the bartenders there, who totally hooked Bill up with the drinks... I mean, between us we had about 15 beers and 4 Pootie Tangs/Booty Calls (Jager and shit) for a final tally of only $33. There's no way that we only did $33 worth of damage last night. Where was I? Oh yeah, so one of Bill's friends brought some Absinthe with him too and kept it out of in the car and I was asked if I'd like to try some.
I ask you people... do you think for a second that I'm going to do stupid shit, like go out into a dive bar's parking lot and sit in the car of a guy I do not know and drink from a bottle of Absinthe (or who knows what) after I've already had 2 shots of Jager and a few beers?
The answer is yes, yes I am that kind of stupid girl.
So last night I had about 3 shots of Absinthe. We sat in the car and tried to do it up right: slotted spoon, sugar cube, lighter, trying to carmelize the cube. Guess what? Bic lighters suck for that. Where's a REAL druggie when you need one? As we sat there, I imagined a cop pulling up and tapping on the window and me saying, "Honestly, officer, we're just carmelizing sugar... stick around, cuz we're making s'mores next!" I wondered if anyone ever caught Julia Child doing that in her car late at night.
Long story short, even with 2 shots of Jager under my belt, there were no hallucinations at all. Of course, Absinthe has wormwood which containes thujone, but really so does vermouth. There is absolutely no reason for this stuff to be banned... except that it tastes like shit. I did have an instant numbing of my gums and throat, and when I took a sip of beer shortly afterwards, it curdled. Tip: don't follow Absinthe with Miller Light. Another tip: Absinthe tastes like S.H.I.T., did I mention that already? Like black licorice soaked in men's Polo cologne.
Alas, no weird things happened last night as a result of drinking the bright green liquor.
Now, that said, I am having some weird things happening today that I'm wondering are due to whatever the hell is in that firewater. My vision has been totally fucked up today and I kept having flashes of what looked like videotape drop out occasionally when I blinked. Oh, and my right arm and leg both kept alternating going numb. Also, everywhere I went today, shoes or no shoes, I keep getting shocked by everything metal. Maybe that's just part of my normal weirdness though.
In addition to all of that weirdness, one of the many dating websites that I've put a profile on has freaked out on me today. This makes the second time it's happened, only the first time was at Snatch Rot Bomb and that's how I met my last beau... when a glitch in the system activated my hidden profile there and people started to write to me, including him.
This time, it's at a different place and on a much grander scale. I mean, in the course of today alone, I've received over 80 emails and free winks from men saying, "I got your wink... WOW. I'd love to hear more..." blah blah blah. It's fucking weird. I've been browsed there over 3000 times today alone, so that tells me that there are far more men who got the same thing from "me" and haven't even responded. I'm thinking that quite possibly the whole population of men on that site received something from "me" today. I posted a message on that profile there telling them about the glitch (or possible hack job) and yet the messages still keep rolling in from them. It wasn't a site that I was really all that keen on using, so I may just have to delete myself from there.
Never a dull moment.
I ask you people... do you think for a second that I'm going to do stupid shit, like go out into a dive bar's parking lot and sit in the car of a guy I do not know and drink from a bottle of Absinthe (or who knows what) after I've already had 2 shots of Jager and a few beers?
The answer is yes, yes I am that kind of stupid girl.
So last night I had about 3 shots of Absinthe. We sat in the car and tried to do it up right: slotted spoon, sugar cube, lighter, trying to carmelize the cube. Guess what? Bic lighters suck for that. Where's a REAL druggie when you need one? As we sat there, I imagined a cop pulling up and tapping on the window and me saying, "Honestly, officer, we're just carmelizing sugar... stick around, cuz we're making s'mores next!" I wondered if anyone ever caught Julia Child doing that in her car late at night.
Long story short, even with 2 shots of Jager under my belt, there were no hallucinations at all. Of course, Absinthe has wormwood which containes thujone, but really so does vermouth. There is absolutely no reason for this stuff to be banned... except that it tastes like shit. I did have an instant numbing of my gums and throat, and when I took a sip of beer shortly afterwards, it curdled. Tip: don't follow Absinthe with Miller Light. Another tip: Absinthe tastes like S.H.I.T., did I mention that already? Like black licorice soaked in men's Polo cologne.
Alas, no weird things happened last night as a result of drinking the bright green liquor.
Now, that said, I am having some weird things happening today that I'm wondering are due to whatever the hell is in that firewater. My vision has been totally fucked up today and I kept having flashes of what looked like videotape drop out occasionally when I blinked. Oh, and my right arm and leg both kept alternating going numb. Also, everywhere I went today, shoes or no shoes, I keep getting shocked by everything metal. Maybe that's just part of my normal weirdness though.
In addition to all of that weirdness, one of the many dating websites that I've put a profile on has freaked out on me today. This makes the second time it's happened, only the first time was at Snatch Rot Bomb and that's how I met my last beau... when a glitch in the system activated my hidden profile there and people started to write to me, including him.
This time, it's at a different place and on a much grander scale. I mean, in the course of today alone, I've received over 80 emails and free winks from men saying, "I got your wink... WOW. I'd love to hear more..." blah blah blah. It's fucking weird. I've been browsed there over 3000 times today alone, so that tells me that there are far more men who got the same thing from "me" and haven't even responded. I'm thinking that quite possibly the whole population of men on that site received something from "me" today. I posted a message on that profile there telling them about the glitch (or possible hack job) and yet the messages still keep rolling in from them. It wasn't a site that I was really all that keen on using, so I may just have to delete myself from there.
Never a dull moment.
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