This blog entry writes itself.

I just learned tonight that I can no longer check the "caucasian" or "white" box when filling out forms for myself. From here on out, it's strictly "other" for me.

Why? Because I just came from the whitest of white events I've ever been to in my life... a Bare Naked Ladies concert here in Gwinnett County, GA... and I can honestly say that I have never felt insufficiently white in all my life.

What the hell was I doing there, you ask? The reason is quite simple: because for a Puerto Rican boy raised in a primarily black neighborhood in the Bronx, my boyfriend apparently has the most whitest of whitebread taste in music I've seen in a long time.

Regardless of that, and even though I'm not into the band, I wanted to go... no really, I wanted to go... because when you're in a relationship, you do things with your partner that you normally wouldn't be caught dead doing, just because it makes the other person happy. And when he saw that the Bare Naked Ladies were coming and shrieked like a giddy school girl that we had to go, I never questioned it... because that's what you do.

Thank god it wasn't Dave Matthews... which I discovered tonight is also another favorite of his (don't hate the player... hate the media... or something). I draw the line there... D's on his own if that one comes to town.

But back to the concert... since the music isn't my cup of red rooibus tea, I amused myself with watching the dance displays of the locals. Wow. I mean, WOW. I never realized until tonight that there were so many ways that one can dance so badly! This was the whitest audience I have ever seen and not a one of them had any sense of rhythm or timing... from the rows upon rows of heads down in the standing section all bopping around like a giant box of bobblehead dolls being driven across a gravel road... to the "dancers" in the seats who could only bend at one set of joints in their bodies at the same time... you know, the ones only bending their knees or their elbows and nothing else, for instance... it was simply amazing to behold. And when they managed to get more than one set of joints moving along with the bobbly heads, it generally looked like that much talked about Michael J. Fox commercial in his full-twitchy glory.

The "best" dancer of the night had to be the guy from the band who sings most of the songs... I don't know his name... the fat one with glasses, that's all I know. When he took off in full dancing throttle, he looked like the special ed kid after someone told him there'd be ice cream. If you ever see me sitting there just silently shaking and trying not to snort, don't worry... I'm not choking... I'm just thinking about that fat dude with his arms flapping doing some sort of skipping with his knees bending at angles that aren't normally seen in humans. Oh, the giggles I'll have for years to come thanks to that sight!

I'm sure I had more to say, but really... the thought of all those white folks dancing is keeping me from typing. I just keep giggling and giggling. Actually, all I want to do is race upstairs and imitate them all in front of a mirror, just to see if I can.

Oh, fuck it... I can't wait! I gotta do it now!