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Wednesday, March 19, 2008

That Girl!

That girl wishes the paparazzi would leave her and Britney alone!





That girl... well, we don’t talk about her anymore.





That girl had a life-altering moment at Lillith Fair.





That girl is a little too excited to see Billy Ray Cyrus back on the music scene again.





That girl dated Bill Plympton, but she dumped him because he got obsessed.





That girl loves kittens, balloon rides, tapioca pudding, and Meg Ryan movies.

Monday, March 10, 2008

Will the Real Doll Please Stand Up?

So P was tooling around on Ebay, looking at old action figures and dolls and such, when he goes, "Wow! A Conan doll..." I glanced over his shoulder and did a double take.

"Holy shit! That's no Conan doll...," I exclaimed in disbelief.




...That's a Maria Shriver doll!"

Thursday, March 06, 2008

And you thought your school was bad...

Dropping the boys off this morning, I thought I misread this sign as I entered the parking lot. While exiting, I realized that it pretty much said what I thought it said:

"HOME OF THE BLACK KNIGHTS PARENT NIGHTMARE"



That's some great advertising! Here I just thought the school's test scores were a bit low.

Tuesday, February 12, 2008

So it’s come to this, has it?


I got cable today.

Why is this a big deal? Well, for starters, I haven't had cable in any home of mine since 1992.

Let me restate that... since nineteen-and-fucking-ninety-two, yep.

There was this great bundle dealio with my local cable monopolist for internet, phone, tv at an insanely low rate and I couldn't resist... although I have to admit that not having cable for approximately 16 years is a pretty damn good effort of resistance.

The cable guy got me all hooked up, including the tv in my office that hasn't been used for much of anything other than a monitor for video editing since I bought it last year. Guess what I immediately did? Tuned that sucker to the "retroactive" music choice channel, that's what I did, so I could rock out to The Clash, Ramones, Love and Rockets, The Smiths, The Jam, The English Beat, Marshall Crenshaw, and whoever else comes on this thing.

Wanna know what else I did? I also tuned my living room tv to C-SPAN2.

Wanna know what I discovered?

Do ya?

I'M FUCKING OLD, THAT'S WHAT!!!

Listening to retro music and getting all jazzed about the vote returns for the Feingold Amendment to the FISA bill. I mean REALLY jazzed.

"Obama, yes... of course. Lieberman, no... fuck you Lieberman... go join the GOP finally! Who do you think you're fooling with that chintzy sheepskin over your head? Oh hell no, we don't need bulk tappings of email content anywhere!"

That was me, literally shouting things at the tv like I was some politics junkie.

Okay, I guess I kinda am.

I'm also old. Did I mention that already? I can't remember... must be the senility. Criminy, my sciatica! Look at the time. I need my Metamucil and a nap before BINGO. Are those damn kids cutting across my lawn again? Grrrr...

Thursday, February 07, 2008

Happy Chinese New Year!



I think it's the Year of the Rat, but I'm going to pretend it's the Year of the Flying Monkeys, just because I've been looking for an excuse to post this photo:

Monday, December 31, 2007

Ch-ch-ch-changes

I've had a huge upheaval in my life just this past weekend. It came on so strongly and was so all-encompassing that it seemed like I'd been missing an important piece in my crazy life and someone just handed it to me and said, "This should help everything make sense now." And it does.

Two days after my birthday, bright and early on a Friday morning, I received a message in a bottle, floating in a sea of other bottled messages that had arrived (this happens every time I post a blog or a new pic... or sign in, for that matter). Why this one stood out was because of how simple and effortless the conversation began, but had all the key elements that showed he'd done his homework.


Date: Dec 14 - 6:02am
Subject: You are correct!

That lighting bolt thingy IS alot of fun. It's like I found my perfect video game. I would have never of thought to push it had I not been inexplicably re-drawn back to your profile and read everything on your profile page.

Mark Hamel looks less like a lesbian and more like he's been hanging with the summer stock crowd for way too long.

I think you should definately not take your profile down. Not yet, anyway. It's too good to just take down. Like public art that only a few people know about. Say your attached or something if you're trying to deflect impossible matches. Or give me another week to make sure I didn't miss anything.

You are "un-wooable."



You may not see the genius of this message, but that's simply because you're not meant to see it. It is for me and me alone. My first thought was, "Wow, why do I feel as if this is a correspondence from a friend I've known forever?" So I compared our profiles and immediately felt that if we did know each other, he'd be part of my tightest circle of friends.



Then I followed the trail of breadcrumbs, investigating his music tastes and realized that it read like a playlist from my own iPod. I stalked him a little further (to Myspace) and what I found made me think it was a crime that we weren't already part of each other's lives, when it seemed as though we were already totally connected, so I set about to rectify that.

We got to know each other at a good clip... not too slow, not too fast... email quickly gave way to IM, which then just as easily gave way to phone. Each time we conversed, it was as if we just dropped into a conversation already in progress -- a dialog that had been going on our whole lives... effortless, exhilarating, silly, amazing.

When we met 2 weeks after first contact, we spent a day together discovering hidden treasures, thoroughly enjoying each other's company, and allowing the butterflies between us to leave on their own. And when we embraced at last, it was as if I was learning for the first time how a hug was supposed to feel. I would tell you more, but I'm sure that I can't do it any justice.

In just 2 days, I've experienced the deepest comfort and most complete sense of understanding I've ever had... and life as I'd known it has been irrevocably changed.


"You gave me some really good advice in your first message to me and I believe that I'm finally going to take it." -- TheSheCreature to AlphaDolt, while changing profile status to "seeing someone" (December 30, 2007).


Tuesday, December 25, 2007

YEUGHUAAAH!

Bringing back a Christmas classic from a couple years ago. Watch it and thank me later!

Karkis - Secret Satan



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