Hello-o-o-o?
Echo-echo-echo-echo!
*blows dust off blog*
Um, hi. Remember me? I used to spend a lot of time around here, sharing my musings and rants and whatnots. Lots of people used to do it. I think it was called "blogging."
At some point during the previous year, blogs became passe and out of fashion. Unfortunately for those of you who enjoyed my ramblings, I seem to have fallen out of love with blogging before that.
Oh sure, there'd been talk of compiling a book... and I was dead serious, too. But along the way, something happened. Something good. I believe it was Aristotle who said, "You take the good, you take the bad, you take them both, and there you have... the facts of life... the facts of life."
The good for me was finding love. The bad, from the blog's perspective, was me finding love. It's one thing to write any crazy thing that comes to your mind when you're single. It's a completely different animal when you're part of a couple. Suddenly, you're accountable to another person's feelings... a person who doesn't necessarily think that all that crazy crap rolling around in your head is fit for mass consumption... and especially if any of it may involve or reflect upon said other person. This might be more so the case when the other person is not of the creative type themself, although I can't be certain of that statement without comparison.
What I do know for certain, however, is that all of this accountability to another has left me at a loss for words in the most literal sense. I've become verbally constipated. Maybe it's like spending too much time in Chicago... all that meat and cheese binds you up. I swear, my bowels don't move for whole visits there, and not for days after my return. But I digress.
Crude allusions aside, all that otherness and emotional accountability can really wreak havoc on one's creative outlets. And in that year gone by without an outlet, I realize that I've been getting more and more complacent and downright squirrelly... neither of which are good for my relationship either! I'm also getting dumber. I can feel it happening little by little. Words and facts that used to come so effortlessly, now take aching amounts of time to inch down the pipes. (Not meant as another poo reference.)
What I need is a fresh look on a creative outlet. I've been doing some soul searching for a few weeks and haven't come up with a solution as yet -- mmm, painting? errrr, drawing? eh, writing? -- but I do keep finding myself returning to an old fantasy of mine: collaboration.
I've seen myself really shine with the right creative partner in the past and I miss that. Only a few times in my life has this truly happened... in art, in writing, and in music. I've not really had it happen in film yet, but I've seen glimpses of it there.
I'm putting it out there to the universe that I would like to find a true creative partner. This has nothing to do with my relationship, mind you. Creative couplings are much harder to navigate than creative partnerships. I just have a strong need to find someone who vibrates in the same harmonic scale as me... like a missing puzzle piece or lost twin. That person knows who they are, because he or she feels the same need in them.
Until then, I think I need to start writing again. We'll see how this goes...
